“It’s crazy, because the characters he created literally look like who I am today.”

But as a kid, coming to grips with that true identity was a struggle.

Around the age of 5, when kids are usually focused on kindergarten, Holbrook’s mind was filled with more complex thoughts, such as, “Why don’t I feel like a girl?”

That child with the muscular avatar was assigned a female**** at birth. He remembers sadly looking in the mirror bandaging and taping up his******** to try and hide them, cutting off his long hair against his mother’s wishes and crying, praying to wake up as boy.

“I always saw myself as a male figure. I was always into sports instead of girly stuff. I would get my dad to buy me boys’ clothes so I could match my brother.”

“Tomboy” was a word that Holbrook heard a lot growing up near Sugar Land, but that seemed to only add to his confusion. He eventually came out as a lesbian to his mother but knew there was something more to what he was feeling. “It was way past just tomboy stuff.”

It wasn’t until he discovered the word “transgender” at 13 years old that his struggle began to make more sense.

“It resonated with me so much. I didn’t know there was something for these feelings. Feelings that have been eating me alive. That day I knew who I was.”

At 17 years old, after six months of gender therapy, Holbrook began taking testosterone and beginning the physical transition to match who he has always felt he has been – Ajay.

“It’s crazy, because the characters he created literally look like who I am today.” But as a kid, coming to grips with that true identity was a struggle. Around the age of 5, when kids are usually focused on kindergarten, Holbrook’s mind was filled with more complex thoughts, such as, “Why don’t I feel like a girl?” That child with the muscular avatar was assigned a female sex at birth. He remembers sadly looking in the mirror bandaging and taping up his breasts to try and hide them, cutting off his long hair against his mother’s wishes and crying, praying to wake up as boy. “I always saw myself as a male figure. I was always into sports instead of girly stuff. I would get my dad to buy me boys’ clothes so I could match my brother.” “Tomboy” was a word that Holbrook heard a lot growing up near Sugar Land, but that seemed to only add to his confusion. He eventually came out as a lesbian to his mother but knew there was something more to what he was feeling. “It was way past just tomboy stuff.” It wasn’t until he discovered the word “transgender” at 13 years old that his struggle began to make more sense. “It resonated with me so much. I didn’t know there was something for these feelings. Feelings that have been eating me alive. That day I knew who I was.” At 17 years old, after six months of gender therapy, Holbrook began taking testosterone and beginning the physical transition to match who he has always felt he has been – Ajay.
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